Finnigan's Elbow: Schoolgirl Stats

Spring term, 2015

Dear Jacinta,

The sun has set on our run at The Sir John Mill's Theatre in Ipswich after six gloriously jolly weeks and we are gearing up to move to Woodbridge and then finally Peterborough. I thought, dear pen-friend that you might like to hear how we have been getting on so far. Here are the latest statistics (*Please note that they are based on estimation and may or may not have any grounding in reality).

Number of shows: 35

Estimated audience attendance: 3,990

Interval mince-pies consumed (When you go for both a pie and a glass of punch (P&P) we affectionately call this having ‘Postage and Packing' and is most common on two show days): 45

Matinee day kebabs (mostly consumed by Mr. Leat): 15

Shows executed with at least 3/5 of the cast in full health: 3

Total Jakeman's throat sweets consumed (a life line for the voice, we seem to all be heavy users): 1500

Average weekly spend in the Greyhound on post show pints: £25

Number of times Mr Wagland has caused the rest of the cast to have on-stage melt downs with his various strokes of comedy gold: 8

Number of shows where the audience groaners outweighed the gigglers: 3

Number of moles harmed in action by the clumsy Billy Buttons: 4

In short, we have been having an absolute ball.  The audiences have been warm and raucous in the main. We are generally twice as silly off-stage as we are on stage; the dressing room is bursting with banter, fierce debate, jokes and laughter. You'll never guess what...I was bought a fitbit flex for Christmas and I can tell you Jacinta that I walk almost two miles every show, which on these short legs is a long way!

I hope the weather is fine in Buenos Aires. I hope that you are fine and your parents are fine. We are all fine here.

Finely yours,

Alicia Trumpington, aged fifteen and three-quaters.