Up Out O' The Sea: A Day In The Life...

I can't hope to be as entertaining as Laura and Francis have been in previous blogs so I'll attempt some fish based humour and then, if you'll forgive me, write a serious (but hopefully enlightening) piece. First the fish jokes.

Did you know that Noah actually built more than one ark? For example he built a split level one for all the fish. It was a multi-storey carp ark.

What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? "Dam!".

Anyway, let's move on to the blog proper. Actors have been a subject of fascination amongst ordinary people for centuries and I thought it would be good to reveal some of our secrets. So, you may ask, "How do you do it?"

At the heart of everything we do is ensuring our voice and body are in peak condition. The exact regimen varies from actor to actor but let me tell you how my day generally goes. (Note to editor: If one of the weekend supplements wants to lift the following for one of their day in the life type articles, get them to ring my agent to discuss the fee.)

The first thing I do is check my astrological chart to make sure it is safe to get out of bed. I have an especially accurate chart which is not just based on my being born on the cusp of Gemini and Cancer, but also takes into account that I am a rat rising and was born in the year of the Walrus. I usually start the day with an hour or so of Pilates or yoga. If I'm able to do this in the open air, so much the better. I ensure my chakras are aligned and that my chi is in full effect. Depending on my biorhythms (which I check religiously), I may then go on a short run (5 or 10 miles).

Breakfast next. This can be a minefield. Fortunately most of the really essential stuff is included in the various supplements I take which include tincture of elderflower and concentrated vitamin G. (This is a newly discovered vitamin. I don't how I find time to keep up to date with all the science journals.) This means I can breakfast on a simple meal such as fresh figs, Alphonso Mango, deseeded pomegranate with macrobiotic bran and a raspberry coulis. Sometimes, on tour, time constraints mean a bowl of crunchy nut corn flakes is sufficient.

Once at the venue, it is essential to walk the space. This ensures a feeling of ownership and enables us to give that effortless impression of being in the space and yet somewhere quite different at the same time. Believe me, nothing is as easy as we manage to make it look.

To describe my physical and vocal warm-ups would take up far more space than I have here but you will be pleased to know I am writing a book on these subjects and may well be taking workshops at the Actors Centre (if my agent doesn't ring me soon.)

(this sounds a bit fishy to me....Ed)